Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize