just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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