What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
