Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
