This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
