I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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