The maid of honor just puked.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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