The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
