It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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