Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I need to calm my uterus...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
