a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
