it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
