I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
