So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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