Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
