More tranny stories later!
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
