I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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