Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
