Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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