You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.