shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
