we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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