tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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