You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
