We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I love you. Go after that dick
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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