I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
