That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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