he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
