I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize