her vagine was all disorganized.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
