At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
