Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just tell him i said nine months
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
