Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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