Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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