Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
