You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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