your thong is hanging out like whoa
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
