This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
