we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
this is an emotional support booty call
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize