Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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