She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize