I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
