Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He has the fingertips of a God
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
