Nicole vs. Life
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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