Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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