Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Panties = found
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
