Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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