They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
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I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
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Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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