He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
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I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
There's even glitter on my cock...
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