im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
