reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
