You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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