Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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