awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
