are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
