Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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