I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
