I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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