Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
