Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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