apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Randomize
